A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
