"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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