sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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