Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Maybe he injected his testicle?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I had to cum in my sink.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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