i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
