I have demons in me.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
