Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
