On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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