be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
