It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
