His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
