If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
