That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sorry about my life...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize