What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
