you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
