i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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