Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
