yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
