Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
