where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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