'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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