And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize