Just cropdusted the office
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize