we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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