I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
