I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
