Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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