are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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