11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
