I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
