My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
