There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
