The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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