So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
