I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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