My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Buhtt sex?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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