she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize