but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
