Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
im on a boat
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