Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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