A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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