The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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