I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
