oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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