Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's just like the Real World with babies
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
