I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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