i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
