After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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