"it" just moved
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
