Its about making memories worth repressing
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize