I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My boob is missing a layer of skin
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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