you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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