I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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