So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
