You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
