i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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