Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
