hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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