I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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