hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
